Councils throughout Britain are demanding more taxes to wank into a bucket as little is left in the coffers for basic services after the majority of local authority income has been wanked into a bucket. The move will hit households on low incomes, particularly since Iain Duncan Smith has decided that poor people don’t actually need money, the state should no longer be responsible for assisting them in paying council tax for their local authorities to then wank into a bucket.
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles has urged local authorities to show restraint in tax rises and perhaps look at ways that they can then avoid wanking the whole lot into a huge bucket. “We fully accept that local authorities must find ways to meet the rising cost of buckets but we also expect them to show restraint in keeping the number of platinum diamond encrusted buckets to wank our taxes into down to a minimum.”
A spokesman for Westminster Council told us “People don’t seem to understand, we have to carefully assign our finances equally and fairly to housing, transport, refuse, emergency and social services. This can be a delicate balancing act, made even more difficult by the fact that we’ve just wanked it all into a bucket.”
