Formerly left wing journalist Owen Jones has confirmed that he will be accepting a full time position with the Daily Mail and has adopted right wing knee jerk political leanings in accordance with their standard policy.
Mr Jones has said he will be looking forward to “exposing the nanny state” and battling against “political correctness which has clearly gone too far.”
Speaking outside the Daily Mail offices, where he is said to be replacing long standing pundit Richard Little John, the writer explained ”It was alright working for the Independent and denouncing the Government’s austerity policies but I’m going to be 30 in August and it’s about time I grew up a bit. And despite what I may have said in the past, the trouble with most of these poor people is really that they don’t want to work.
“I’m doing quite nicely at the moment, I frequently eat out in restaurants, and I’m starting to get a taste for more expensive wine. In addition to that I’ve got quite a hefty mortgage so the idea of distibution of wealth is becoming less attractive. Maybe I could stop blaming the Government and poor people could just pull their fingers out a bit. I don’t want to subsidise cans of cheap lager for some bloke in a string vest standing outside the front of his council house next to an old sofa or fridge. Or welcome immigrants with a red carpet, a free 4 bed room house and a free flat screen telly. They’re all after a free ride. All of them. We’re going to hell in a hand cart.”
In other news Richard Littlejohn has confirmed he will be writing a daily article for the Independent criticising all policies by Iain Duncan Smith. “Everything I have said up until now has been a lie” he told us.
