Immigrants are going to have to learn cockney rhyming slang, if they want to be considered either for benefits, employment or whatever misinformed middle England are more concerned about at the time, according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith.
Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, the spoon faced politician explained “All we’re saying is that if people from foreign countries want to come over here to work, be on holiday or claim a benefits package that is lower than many other European countries, then they’re going to conform to a fictional stereotype of a typical Londoner in the 1970s. We’re clearly going to favour any immigrants that walk up the apples and pears on their plates of meat and say ‘Lor’ luv a duck! I’ve come ter take all yaaahr jobs an’ benefits. Know what I mean?’
“Obviously if they want to dress up as pearly kings, wear sovereign rings and sell each other used cars to the value of a monkey, a bag of sand or an albatross then that is going to help their case even further.”
Shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna has suggested Labour might be interested in restricting free movement within the European Union for workers who do not have the firm offer of a job. “They’ll either have to have a job or be able to perform two songs by Chas’n'Dave.” he explained.
