Osborne “We are the party of the night”
George Osborne has confirmed today that all future Government meetings will be held during the night, with Ministers retreating to darkened rooms to sleep in the day time. The news will not surprise...
View ArticleBoris launches leadership campaign under guise of some EU thing
Boris Johnson has formalised his campaign to run for Prime Minister under the guise of some argument over membership of the EU. The shaggy, self serving, former Eton schoolboy said that the question...
View ArticleIain Duncan Smith to leave Europe now
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan smith is reportedly so excited about the possibility of Britain leaving the European Union that he has gone on ahead and left Europe already. A source close to...
View Article“Stop naming us” say MPs who voted for disability benefit cuts
Conservative MPs who voted for £30 a week cuts in benefits for disabled people have asked today for people to stop naming them on social media so they can continue to claim huge expenses and lie about...
View ArticleIain Duncan Smith resigns in protest against his own policies
Iain Duncan Smith has resigned as Work and Pensions secretary citing his own policies as a step too far. “I wouldn’t want to be part of a Government that would let someone as unpleasant as me form...
View ArticleConservatives divided over whether to be total bastards or utter bastards
The Conservative party is thought to be divided today over whether to be total bastards or utter bastards. Prime Minister David Cameron has denied that now the Conservative Government has...
View ArticleBritain will be forced to have French loos warn Brexit
British citizens will be forced to balance on their haunches with their trousers round their ankles and shit into a hole in the ground rather than use British seated toilets, should the UK vote to...
View Article“Someone should have warned us about a recession” say Brexiters
Furious Brexiters are criticising economists and credit agencies today for not warning them that stepping out of the largest free market in the world would somehow cause a clusterfuck of a recession....
View ArticleUK ambassador to EU resigns as EU countries refuse to speak English
The UK’s ambassador to the EU quit due to not understanding what anyone was talking about it has emerged today. Speaking to John Humphreys on the Today programme Sir Ivan Rogers said “I was originally...
View ArticleRichard Madeley urges second EU referendum
A second EU referendum seems far more likely today following an impassioned plea for one by daytime TV personality Richard Madeley. Speaking on his show ‘This Morning’ alongside his wife Judy Finnegan...
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